Our family, friends and coworkers often suffer when we battle addiction. They see it’s effects on us every day, and they feel our hurtful words, see the actions we often later regret. Forgiveness isn’t just about them. Forgiveness begins with yourself, spreads to them, and perhaps even helps them begin to forgive themselves for some of their own past choices and mistakes.
There are some truths you should come to terms with as you begin your path to forgiving yourself and working to possibly be forgiven by any friends or family that you may have harmed in one way or another. One of them is that those family and friends may not be willing to forgive you, now, or ever. As hard as it is to accept, some people simply aren’t able to forgive, even if they want to. Addiction can push us to do some pretty awful things at times, things that can outrage, disgust, and greatly hurt the people around us. Some people can forgive and move on, others can’t. You can’t force them to forgive you, so it’s important to give them distance if they aren’t willing or able to.
The other truth is that sometimes, forgiveness hurts just as much as the act itself. Having to think about how you felt when a loved one hurt you in pursuit of forgiving them can be painful, and it’s often hard for our loved ones to want to endure any more pain on our behalf. This pain isn’t something that can be easily soothed by apologies or grand gestures or gifts. Often times, trying to overload those we’re seeking forgiveness from with well-meaning gifts or words can simply make things worse.
This also applies to yourself, in reverse. The last truth is that you absolutely must find a way to to stop beating yourself up. If you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t possibly expect forgiveness from others. Flooding yourself with self-berating thoughts and angry comments to yourself will do nothing but make you bitter, and being bitter. Choose forgiveness for yourself, no one can do it for you.
Recovery is about making changes. Your first change starts when you make the decision that treatment is right for you. Based on an evidence-based curriculum, our program brings together the best of trusted 12-step principles and proven best practices for treatment. Our holistic approach treats the whole person. The Springboard Center offers you a 5-week program for healing mind, body, and spirit. Call us today for information: (432) 620-0255
