Addiction can destroy lives, not just the lives of the addicted, but their friends and family often suffer as well. Marriages and relationships are usually damaged heavily, parents and children don’t speak for years at a time and friends may say things they would never have before. When you’re the loved one of a person struggling with addiction, it can be hard to watch what’s unfolding in front of you. Yet even when we’re patient, understanding and willing to offer help, including the costs of treatment in some cases, they refuse to get help, and oftentimes react in anger when we offer it. Over time, this can become seemingly hopeless, and many loved ones find that eventually, they feel as though they must simply give up and move on, cutting that person out of their life entirely.
Whether or not you choose to do this is up to you. No two cases of addiction or the impacts the disease has on loved ones are exactly identical, and no two people are the same. As with any major decision, you have to consider the consequences of this. If you cut this person out of your life, or move on, could you live with giving up completely? What kind of impact is this relationship having on your life, or your children? No one can say whether or not you should give up but you and what you know inside.
There may be another option, however. Often times, we tell the person with the addiction that if they do not choose to get help and work towards sobriety, there will be consequences, whether it’s being cut off from finances or that a partner will move out of the home and take the children. Many people struggling with addiction see these types of things as empty threats. In many cases, you have to decide to follow through in order to get through to them. If, after they see that you truly mean what you say, they decide to take action and get help, work to help the follow through.
In the end, you can only control your own behaviors and your own choices. You must be willing to either accept the consequences of giving up and leaving your loved one to their own choices, or the consequences of ultimatums, interventions or continuing as you have done.
Recovery is about making changes. Your first change starts when you make the decision that treatment is right for you. Based on an evidence-based curriculum, our program brings together the best of trusted 12-step principles and proven best practices for treatment. Our holistic approach treats the whole person. The Springboard Center offers you a 5-week program for healing mind, body, and spirit. Call us today for information: (432) 620-0255
