It can be hard to say no to someone you love when you have had a habit of always saying yes. A lot of addicts will go to their loved ones and constantly ask requests for things like money, their car, to get bailed out of jail, etc. Saying no may seem like the worst thing you can say to someone in need but it can actually be the best thing in the long run.
If someone is constantly pestering you for money so they can feed their addiction, just give them a simple no. In order for you to know like you are doing the right thing, think about how giving money to someone struggling with addiction has affected your marriage, paying your bills, your career, and that enough will never be enough. That they will still continue to ask you for money to feed their addiction. If you want to avoid this conversation from turning into an emotional fight, be polite to them when you tell them no.
They may ask for an explanation but there is no requirement to give them one as your decision is final and there is no changing your mind. Just let that person know that you are saying no because you said so and that you refuse to answer to loan requests again. They will most likely try to make you feel guilty by telling you that you are the worst person or that you do not really care about them. It is still important not to give in because you know that you are doing the right thing.
What you should be telling your loved one instead is that they only way you are willing to help them is by referring that person to a treatment facility that will better equip their needs. Let them know that you will help them out by trying to get them to stay away from any triggers and for emotional support when they are experiencing cravings. You can also let them know that when it comes to going to 12 Step meetings or to therapy that you are willing to accompany them so that you can learn more ways how to help. Loving someone means telling them what they need to hear. Saying no can be the best thing for them to hear as it will push them in the right direction to get help.
Located in downtown Midland, The Springboard Center’s mission is to offer programs and services to treat alcohol and drug addiction treatment using an evidence based curriculum, 12 step programs, diet, nutrition, exercise, emotional, mental and spiritual development for a long recovery. For more information, please call us at 432-620-0255 as we are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
