Our family, while they normally support us and love us unconditionally, can be as equally toxic as any negative friend or former friend. When a person struggles with drug and alcohol addiction, it’s unfortunately very common for the person to lie to and or steal from the people closest to them in order to help fund their addiction. In many cases, when the addicted person hits rock bottom, things may go wrong for their family as well, whether it’s from financial or legal issues related to the addiction to other family members developing their own addictions. After treatment, it’s just as common for families to mend fences and patch things up, because, after all, that’s what family does, right? Unfortunately, in many cases, the things that transpire between an addicted person and their loved ones can lead to huge rifts, and in some cases, they’re never repaired.
So what exactly do you do when your family members hold grudges about the past? As much as we may wish otherwise, we can’t simply force people to forgive us or let go of things that affected them or hurt them, and to assume that you can may cause even more damage to your relationship. So, you tell them, once more, how sorry you are that you hurt them, and that they’re still so upset and angry about what happened. If they can’t forgive your and let it go, then it’s up to you to find a way to let go of them not letting go.
You can’t force it down their throats, and while it may hurt and feel unreasonable, it’s not our place to judge how other people feel. Instead, choose to continue to love your family, even if you can’t come to an agreement, and love yourself enough to accept that they’re the ones holding onto to the past, not you. Learn from your mistakes, and move forward, even if they find they can’t.
The best thing you can do is live the most honest, sober life that you can. Every day they hold on to that grudge of wrongdoing form the past, prove them wrong that same day by making the smart choices that promote your healthy lifestyle, rather than sinking into anger and lashing out at them.
Family support for the families of people battling addiction is extremely important in helping everyone cope with and overcome the past, and The Springboard Center offers family programs to coincide with their inpatient and outpatient programs. If you’re struggling with addiction, get you and your family the help you deserve. Call today: 432-620-0255.
